THE UNHOLY THREE : David S Goyer’s ‘Blade : Trinity’ [5/10]

Published on: February 15th, 2005

The third – and supposedly the last – in the teen-oriented horror/action franchise isn't really any better or worse than 2002's widely overrated Blade II. Guillermo Del Toro having moved on to Hellboy, former comic-strip artist Goyer now takes charge, and he proves at least as competent as his much-touted Mexican predecessor. This time our half-human, half-vampire hybrid, badassss anti-hero Blade (Wesley Snipes) must reluctantly join forces with twentysomethings Abigail (Jessica Biel) and Hannibal (Ryan Reynolds) to foil the evil plans of a squad of nosferatu led by no less an eminence than Dracula himself. Now going under the name of Drake (Dominic Purcell), this version of the count looks less like previous Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee incarnations and more like Eric Bana after a WWF makeover.

Raucous but forgettable shenanigans ensue, with results that look suspiciously like an extended advert for the inevitable accompanying video-game: when the bloodsuckers are killed, they spontaneously (and handily) disappear on the spot. The numerous so-so action sequences also serve the purpose of enabling Snipes, Biel and Reynolds to show off their toned physiques, nifty moves and (from Van Wilder graduate Reynolds) a Jason Lee-style repertoire of cynical wisecracks. In the supporting cast, however, it's sad to see luminaries like James Remar, Eric Bogosian and Parker Posey wasted in such undemanding, peripheral roles. Similarly underdeveloped is an intriguing subcurrent involving, of all things, Esperanto – supposedly the second language of the unnamed city where the British-Columbia-filmed Blade Trinity takes place. "Klaatu barada nikto", as they (don't) say in Vancouver…

Neil Young

31st December, 2004 [seen 23rd December : Odeon Gate, Newcastle : public show]

BLADE : TRINITY aka Blade Trinity : USA 2004 : David S Goyer: 113 mins