2012 (2009) 6/10

2012, in which the world is ravaged by earthquakes and tsunamis after the overheating of the planet's core due to "neutrino mutation", is a deliberately bombastic, testosterone-enhanced, unofficial remake of Deep Impact (1998).
   Though frequently so ludicrous as to be laughable, the overlong, overstuffed extravaganza of destruction certainly delivers on the 'macro,' via a well-spaced string of CGI-heavy set-pieces. But it's much clunkier when it comes to the 'micro', zooming in from global catastrophe to examine its impact on divorced, writer-turned-limo-driver dad Jackson Curtis, who semi-inadvertently reunites his family under situations of increasingly dire extremis.
   As the nominal lead, John Cusack – who's normally associated with slightly more upmarket fare - looks alternately knackered and embarrassed, perhaps puzzling over why his character's name seems to obliquely suggest a connection with rapper 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson to his nearest and dearest.) Or perhaps Cusack's beaten-dog expression is there to remind us that Curtis is, after all, a published novelist, responsible for the critically-acclaimed but commercially-disastrous Farewell Atlantis:

   With his thorough research and lucid writing style, Curtis explores the apocalyptic realm through the complementary lens of science and art, and presents a bold exploration of the human spirit.  The novel aims to educate readers on reclaiming their birthright as owners of the planet rather than victims or subjects to the political, education and economic machinery while awakening them to a higher global evolution of consciousness.*

   Director Emmerich, fully aware that his "bold exploration of the human spirit" will - in diametric opposition to his hero's creation - dismay sniffy critics and blast box offices worldwide keeps the pot boiling at reasonable intensity for the 2 1/2-hour running-time. And ticket-buyers certainly get plenty of bang for their buck – his version of "how the world ends" being the polar opposite of, say, T S Eliot's. Grace-notes are, predictably, somewhat few and far between in this catalogue of disaster-movie cliches, but Oliver Platt is a recurrent pleasure as a brutally practical-minded White House official, socking over what's effectively the only "proper" performance in the whole teeming ensemble. The cast features a surfeit of slumming thespians better noted for slightly classier fare - the likes of Chiwetel Ejiofor endow proceedings with entirely underserved gravitas.
   Among the more fleeting turns, chisel-jawed Estonian unknown Johann Urb makes the most of his on-screen moments as a heroic Russky pilot (casting-directors take note), while spotting the veteran likes of George Segal (as a cruise-ship jazz-singer) and Stephen McHattie (ramrod-straight navy captain) in minor supporting roles is a diverting bonus.
   The exact nature of McHattie's role can't be revealed in this review, as it concerns the specifics of mankind's expensive response to an environment that has suddenly turned extremely hostile – a "reveal" that counts as the excessively coincidence-reliant script's single most inspired surprise (and involves the fact that the peril facing Earth may not be quite so terminal as you're led to believe by the advance hype.)
   The screenplay – credited to Emmerich and Harald Kloser – is on shakier terrain when it comes to the issues of faith and belief that crop up so repeatedly in the serviceable-at-best dialogue. Certain scenes seem to undermine or even mock religion, others to endorse its desperate adherents. The cataclysm was, after all - and as we're so often reminded - precisely foretold by the Mayan calendar, rendering 2012 an extended promo for the concept of mystical prophecy (see also Mel Gibson's Apocalypto.)
   Such loopiness has been sensibly derided by many rational onlookers, with Mark Dery indelibly christening 2012 "a carnival of bunkum." Nobody wants to support the spread of bunkum through an already bunkum-saturated world, of course, but if you're in the right frame of mind, well-organised carnivals can provide relatively harmless fun for a couple of idle hours.

Neil Young
13th/14th November 2009

2012
6/10
USA 2009
directed by Roland Emmerich
158m (BBFC)
[17/28]

seen at
Empire cinema
Sunderland
13th November 2009
paid  £4.80

*Chapter One begins :
I am watching Martin die in the pitiless vacuum of space. Technically it is suicide. Morally it is murder. Although here in the primordial darkness of the Big Bang's ever-expanding wake, I wonder if our feeble, tentative stabs at a comprehensible code of ethical human behavior even apply. The stars don't judge us. And we are made of the same stuff as stars.