Izola postcards (2/3) : DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS
the second of three columns written for Dnevni Otok Daily, the newspaper/magazine published by and during the
film-festival of Izola, Slovenia (Kino Otok / Isola Cinema).
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We all know that Kino Otok’s audiences are attentive, polite people who become fully immersed in their cinematic experiences. But not every town is as lucky as Izola. One of the big movie-related talking-points on the internet this week has been the ejection of a “texter” from the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema in Austin, Texas. This is an internationally-renowned independent cinema which has great taste not only in movies but also in poster-art: Google “Tyler Stout Alamo” and prepare to be dazzled.
A different kind of ‘dazzlement’ was provided by an Alamo customer recently when she was caught using her mobile during a screening. Depressingly widespread practice in multiplexes the world over, but completely verboten at the Alamo, so the offending patron was asked to leave the premises. This wasn’t the end of it, however, as the ejectee then left an expletive-studded message on the cinema’s answering-machine in which she seemed to regard ‘Freedom To Text In A Cinema’ as a constitutional right: “I’ve texted in all the other theatres in Austin and no one ever gave a f*** about what I was doin’ on my f***in’ phone.”
The cinema management wasted no time in adapting this abusive rant into an announcement which they now air before all adult-rated movies as a reminder of their zero-tolerance policies (they’re not too keen on “talkers” during movies either). They also put it out on the internet, where the YouTube clip has attracted well over a million views in less than five days, sparking a worldwide debate about acceptable and considerate behaviour within movie-houses.
Kino Otok doesn’t (yet) have the kind of pro-active – some might say ‘draconian’ – policies of those hard-ass Austin cine-bosses. But just in case you are considering “lighting up” in one of the screenings – well, maybe you should ‘Remember the Alamo’…
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Of course, consideration has to work both ways: if cinemas demand certain standards from their audiences, audiences should be able to expect the cinemas to conduct themselves with appropriate professionalism. Cleanliness, comfort, not too hot or too cold, not to mention basic stuff like, um, showing the film in the right order. One Italian cinema fell down on the latter score last when it was discovered that Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life, fresh from its Palme d’Or success at Cannes, had mixed up the reels – and, given the film’s “unconventional” structure and dream-like atmosphere, nobody had noticed for more than seven days.
Red faces all round at Bologna’s Cinema Lumiere, not least because this is regarded as one of the more “serious” cinemas in what is known internationally as the home of Italy’s oldest and most prestigious university. One can only imagine the reaction of the reclusive Mr Malick (he’s so reclusive, indeed, that we have no choice but to imagine) when hearing this startling news.
Only a couple of days before he’d made headlines of his own by issuing a four-part set of instructions to projectionists screening his latest magnus opus (“Projection lamps should be set at Proper standard (5400 Kelvin)…”), but had understandably omitted to specify that the reels should not be screened in incorrect – or random – order.
Then again, while nobody wants to defend sloppy projection or annoying audience behaviour, there’s something to be said for the sheer unpredictability of watching a film in a movie-house in the classic, time-honoured way, i.e. from a 35mm print. The medium we love isn’t a precise, straightforward business: to quote Freddie Mercury and William Shakespeare – it’s a kind of magic, but it’s also rough magic.
Given the advance of ultra-high definition digital, 3D imagery, cutting-edge THX sound-systems and the global march of the multiplex, it’s entirely possible that one day – pretty soon – watching a film will be a risk-free experience with every aspect calibrated and modulated, every possibility of error eliminated, to ensure total uniformity of experience, wherever and whenever you expose yourself to the product.
And on that day, cinema will be as dead as Davy Crockett.
Neil Young
Dnevni Otok Daily, 10th June, 2011
first column (‘Trans-Balkan Express’) is here—–
third column (‘The [Naked] Truth is Out There’) is here